Not My Duty...

So as my previous blog stated I finally met my fathers side of the family when I was 17... but as the years have gone by its still as if I never met them... the first 3 to 4 years we kept it in touch...I called them they called me... they had me walk in one of their weddings, my cousin named me the godfather of his first born... this were ok... not perfect but it was ight... but of course has the years pass people and things change... its now about 9 years since I've met them and things are almost as if I've never met them... If I don't call them they won't call me... I can go months without hearing from them... sometimes years without hearing from quite a few of them... guess it doesn't help that I also haven't been to Miami in 6 years... but I've continued to live my life as if its nothing serious... because I made it this far without them... so why should it bother me if things are as they are.... I'm never asked them for anything nor do I care to... it sucks that I feel this way but it is what it is... I feel if they really want to be involved in my life then they should make the effort to reach out to me... I'm their brother's son... they've missed out on some important things in my life and its okay it happens for some strange reason it took 17 years for them to finally find me... it sucks that I know they could have found me sooner, seeing that my fathers younger brother knew of me and knew that I was left back in Boston... but for some reason still unknown to me, decided he was never going to say anything... when asked he'd never respond to their questions and give them the answers they were seeking... if it had not been for a long time friend of my dad that so happened to have came across them randomly did they finally know of my existence and whereabouts... but it bothers me that this said brother never spoke up... I'm told all the time that if roles were reversed and it had been him who had passed away that my father would have been there for his only son... so my questions is why would he pretend I never existed... was he jealous, was he upset of the circumstances or did he jus not care... these are questions that I will never know the answers to... but in meeting them again  over this time... I've told myself that I'm going to make more of an effort to keep in touch... going make more of an effort to come back to Miami and not allow another 6 or 7 years go by without returning... especially since I've got a goddaughter who has felt the effects of me not really keeping in contact with the family... so I'm going to do my part, hopefully they do theirs and everything works for the best... I'm still learning who they are and their still trying learn and figure me out... its gonna be a process, it won't happen over night but I'm willing to do my part and make an effort... its become important to me... they are my family and I should be willing to embrace them no matter how long it took and no matter if they live some distance away... I wish and hope things become better I'm not asking for the their undivided attention nor am I looking for anything for the years lost... jus looking to know and learn more of who my father was as a person and who his family is...  everything will be ight... God knows why things were and are what they are...